Side Story: E.B. Day – Date

Chronologically, this takes place around the time just before the “Outbreak.”

One day, when I went to Doggy House together with Shinzo, Marry—the puppy-walker—waved me over. I wondered what it was about. Without thinking too hard, I wandered over in her direction.

“Oh my, look at you. You just came strolling right over, didn’t you, Touji?”

Her sweet voice drifted up as she lay slumped across the table, eyes half-lidded and heavy as she looked at me.

“? Well, you called me, so of course I came.”

“Hmm? I thought maybe you’d keep your distance, since you’re scared of girls~”

“…Girl?”

“Hehe. What’s that supposed to mean?”

She smiled.

A shiver shot down my spine. Terrifying.

“No, nothing at all. Nothing whatsoever. Really, absolutely nothing.”

So please, smile the way you always do, my adorable little kitten Kitty. That’s what I told myself.

“Mm, all right then.”

Then, in that out-of-character tone of hers, she let me off the hook.

“So then… what exactly…”

Do you want from me? I tilted my head slightly as I asked.

“Ah, right. Touji, you’re not gay, are you?”

“…Not in the least.”

Where on earth did that come from?

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Eeeh… really, really?”

She straightened up, gazing at me from beneath her lashes. The way her arms pressed together in front of her chest pushed up that unmistakable feminine shape.

“—”

I couldn’t help looking. That wasn’t my fault.

“Aaah, yep, thought so.”

And when Marry saw me, she giggled, as if to say caught you. That was wicked.

“Potato Maaaan, it’s fine, Touji’s not gay after all!”

“Is that so? Then I guess I can get a little closer, no problem.”

Marry said something outrageous, and right on cue Potato Man came over saying something just as outrageous.

“…Even if I were gay, I still wouldn’t choose you.”

“Hey, Marry. Are you sure about this? He’s acting like some kind of obvious tsundere. A handsome guy like me should be prime prey for any gay man.”

Potato Man pursed his lips into a crooked frown.

I borrowed a mirror from Marry and held it up in front of him without a word.

“…”

“…”

A pause. Potato Man and I stared each other down.

“Ha.”

I gave a short laugh through my nose.

“Heh. Good boy, mutt. I’ll see to your training.”

“Dragon Unit, prepare for bombardment. S2, ready to snipe. A1, A2, breach the store right after Dragon Unit fires. Rat and Ox Units, receive the Type-5 from me and hold position to stall for time. Horse Unit, you’re the key. Kidnap me.”

I took a breath.

“In short—Order to Win. That’s all.”

The moment I delivered my catchphrase, Marry smacked both me and Potato Man on the head.

“Sit.”

“You sit first, mutt.”

“…No, no, your knees must be killing you. Please, after you, old man.”

Grrr.

“Ahahaha. Hey now, both of you—si-it.”

Marry smiled sweetly.

“…”

“…”

Growling at each other, Potato Man and I both sank into our seats at the same time.

“So then, what was with that rude remark earlier?”

That bit about me being gay, for example.

“About that, Hound. Why haven’t you made a move on Eevee?”

“…Why, you ask? Honestly, no particular reason.”

“Then make a move.”

“…”

What is this potato bastard even talking about? I shot Potato Man a look that said exactly that.

“All right, I’ll spell it out. That girl? She’s from a really good family.”

“But… she uses ore as her first-person pronoun?”

I thought being well-bred referred to women like Karis.

“Sure, by our standards, maybe not. But the girl’s name is just two letters, right? In Tooth, only the upper ranks are given names like that.”

“So your answer is that I should make a move?”

I let my distaste show plain on my face.

“Oooh, you really don’t look thrilled.”

“I believe in pure love.”

And for that reason, taking action just because of her background feels off.

“Didn’t you try to shove a political marriage onto Shinzo?”

“That was different.”

That was that. This is this. And right now, Shinzo looks happy, so it worked out fine.

“Well, I couldn’t care less about your principles. Make a move. Keep her close.”

“And if you’re worried about Eevee, don’t be. The only reason there’s even a rumor about you being gay is because she came to me with her concerns after you kept not making a move.”

“…I see.”

What on earth has she been consulting them about?

“By the way, if you refuse, I’ll start a rumor that you really are gay.”

“And your partner in that rumor will be Shinzo~”

“Get on with it already, you idiot!”

Shinzo, who had clearly heard every word, roared at us.

And so, just like that, I decided I’d have to make a move on Eevee.

---

Put like that, I probably sound like a complete good-for-nothing.

Taking action only because of the benefits, making a move on someone who already has feelings for me.

But if you asked whether I feel anything for Eevee myself, my answer would be yes, I do. It’s not as though I dislike her.

“So basically, Touji, you are attracted to me!”

“Yes!” The young lady punched the air in triumph.

Clad in a black leather jacket over denim short shorts, she stood there with pale thighs laid bare, shouting without a trace of shame.

With her boots covering her legs and long gloves hiding her right hand, she looked for all the world like any ordinary human.

“Come on then, hold me.”

“…No, thank you.”

“Mgh, why not? It’s a date, isn’t it? And dates always end with holding each other, right? Then let’s just hurry up and do it!”

“Please, seriously stop.”

Don’t say things like do it.

Don’t shout them at the top of your lungs in a café packed with couples.

Half the men in here are squirming in secondhand embarrassment.

I grabbed Eevee by the hand and hustled her out of the café. With what she’d just yelled, all the looks we were getting were way too knowing, as if everyone thought we were off to find a hotel.

We weren’t. Really, we weren’t.

“Hey, Touji?”

“Yes? What is it?”

“You’re really not going to hold me, huh?”

“That’s right.”

“Then what do you even do on a date?”

“Well, you know, more of a… normal sort of thing—”

I faltered.

What was normal, exactly? What counted as an ordinary date?

“Hmm? What’s wrong, Touji? You don’t have any experience, do you? In the end, it all just comes down to holding each other, right?”

Eevee grinned and grinned, like a cat toying with its prey.

“Ha, ha, ha… of course not.”

That’s what I said, but in truth she wasn’t wrong. I wanted to cry out for Shinzo’s help. I really did. But that wasn’t an option, so I had to press on.

“A date is… you know. Um. Well, to start with, we could just… hold hands?”

“Okay.”

She offered me her left hand.

A perfectly human-looking hand. I took it.

Our fingers slid together. Interlaced.

The kind of handholding they call lover’s clasp.

Eevee leaned in against me, wrapping herself around my arm.

“Heheee.”

Her smile softened into something warm, almost melting, and she looked so genuinely happy that I couldn’t help but think she was adorable.

---

We wandered aimlessly through the bazaar.

What you might call window shopping.

“Touji, aren’t you going to replace your Type-5?”

“It fits my hands perfectly.”

The two of us fiddled with sniper rifles as we talked.

Window shopping, yes—though the things we were browsing were a little on the dangerous side.

“And what about you? You’re not changing out your weapon?”

“Hmm. Changing out… doesn’t really sound right, does it?”

Eevee rubbed her right arm. Ah, true enough. “Replace” wasn’t the right word. “Rebuild” was probably more accurate.

“Genes.”

“You’re not getting any of mine.”

“Mgh.”

Eevee puffed out her cheeks.

“Your camp, your room, the trash bin, crumpled tissues—”

“Stop.”

Seriously, stop stringing together ominous-sounding words like that. Or rather—

“Is my genetic material really that valuable?”

“Mm. It’s not so much about being valuable. It’s more about compatibility. You see, we Tooth alter our bodies, or spawn parasite-types to create our gear, right?”

“So it seems.”

That bone she bought earlier hadn’t been a snack at all, but material for organic ammunition.

“Yeah. So we can kind of sense when someone’s genes are a good match for us. And yours, Touji, are excellent. If we had kids, they’d be heroes. If I used you to craft weapons, they’d be top grade. That’s why I betrayed the Tooth and stayed by your side.”

“That’s awful. Sounds like you’re only after my body.”

“Maybe so. But even so, I want to call this feeling love.”

“That does have a certain poetic charm.”

“Thank you! Yaaay!” she said, giving me a high-five with the hand not already holding mine. “That’s why I keep telling you, ‘Hold me.’”

“I can’t process something that foreign to my culture.”

Or rather—

“So, does the Tooth culture even have the concept of marriage?”

“Hm? Yeah, we do. Same as humans. Since we were originally human, some of the customs stuck around.”

“…In that case, wouldn’t it be fine to just say ‘I like you’ instead of ‘Hold me’?”

“That works too, but it’s not like you actually like me, is it? So—”

“No, you’re in the category of people I like.”

“Oh? Say that again.”

“You’re in the category of people I like.”

“Say it more bluntly.”

“I like you.”

“Good, that’s it. Now shorten it.”

“Ugh…”

“If you don’t say it… then I guess I’ll just cry.”

Her blue eyes looked up at me, and I lifted my shoulders in defeat.

That was trouble.

It wasn’t as though I disliked her. I really didn’t want to see her cry.

“—”

I leaned in close and whispered a few little words, only for her ears. And then I thought—

“Ehehe.”

Her face melted into a smile, radiant and soft with happiness. She really was adorable.