Chapter 56: Sloppy Creatures

“How’s that, big brother? Young Master gave me some coffee beans, so I tried brewing with those.”

“The aroma’s nice. It’s clearly different from the usual beans.”

“Ahaha, but it’s the same kind of bean, y’know.”

“…”

“How’s the sugar?”

“Just right. Pleasantly sweet.”

“Didn’t put in any sugar, though.”

“…”

“…”

“Th-this coffee is…”

“‘This coffee is…?’”

—Hot, isn’t it?

—Don’t just leave it hanging like that!

“Even you, big brother, who can’t tell the difference, can tell the difference now—”

“—and that’s M〇X Coffee.”

Yeah! Akane played along with the commercial line, and we slapped each other a high five.

“So, with that said, pass me the condensed milk.”

It’s bitter.

“If I give it to you, you’ll dump it in like an idiot, so I’ll do it.”

Akane said that and gave the can a slow squeeze—squish—letting the condensed milk drip in. I thanked her and took another sip.

“…Did you change the condensed milk?”

“You can’t even tell whether sugar’s in or not, but that you notice?”

That was what happened this morning. What I mean is: I’m a man of taste, a man who can tell the difference.

“…And that’s why, I don’t need anything other than a Type-B Model 5 sniper rifle.”

“Mhm. That’s just selfishness, though.”

In the Leone clan’s armory, Rikan and I stood side by side, having that exchange.

During the last job, the Type-B Model 5 sniper rifle I’d cherished broke down.

It was probably finished the moment that mechanical tiger bit into it, but then it got blown up along with the tiger.

Tiger Unit, who’d apparently developed some kind of rivalry toward the mechanical tiger, ignored the retreat order and filmed its final moments, so the truth came out.

The explosion footage was slowed. It was zoomed in. Zoomed in further.

Did you catch it—?

When Tiger Unit showed me the footage, that sort of narration echoed inside my head.

Yes, I caught it, but I wished I hadn’t.

I’m not one to cling to leftovers, but I’d had the Type 5 longer than my current backbone.

I came home from work and, after being shown that footage, I was properly down about it. That night, I burrowed into my futon and slept.

Tiger Unit was being poked at by the other eleven Monoz. “Oh, boohoo, feel bad for him,” that kind of vibe.

Well, things that are broken are broken; nothing to be done.

Someone once said that if you live, your mortality rate is 100 percent. Sooner or later, you die; sooner or later, things break. But after my sniper rifle broke, according to Rikan—

“A curry rice without curry, huh.”

“If that showed up at a restaurant, it’d be fraud.”

“You hired a sniper, but he turned out not to be a sniper. That kind of thing.”

“…Am I fired?”

Thank you for everything.

I will return to the human world.

“No, I still want to keep making you work for me.”

So Rikan said he’d buy me a new rifle.

That’s how I ended up at the Leone clan armory, only to find there was no Type-B Model 5 sniper rifle there.

High price equals a good gun.

Under that logic, the Model 5 Yuri gave me was pretty old.

Apparently, Yuri later realized it too: the Model 5 is no longer in production. Yet because many enthusiasts like it, it fetched a high price, even though its performance isn’t exceptional by modern standards.

Still, there’s a reason enthusiasts love it.

It’s unquestionably a famous gun. A bit heavy, yes, but the barrel resists heat deformation, and that makes a big difference in long engagements.

A man who can tell the difference like me explained that to Rikan.

“Is that so. For now, I’ll give you this one. It’s made by the same Tatara Heavy Industries, and it’s bolt-action, so it should be fine, right?”

But Rikan didn’t get it.

He handed me some random sniper rifle. I took it with a blatantly sour look.

Rikan looked at me with kindly eyes and said, “It’ll be fine, Ratchet. Trust yourself. Your marksmanship won’t change because of a gun like this. Because you are—”

—a far sloppier creature than you imagine.

“…”

I’m not sure that assessment is entirely fair.

***

Three days had passed since I started using the new sniper rifle.

During that time, Rikan and I went on one job together.

It was an assassination, so I was dragged along, but I dropped the target with a clean headshot. When Rikan grinned at me like, “No problem, right?” I felt a little irritated.

If this keeps up, the assessment of me as a sloppy creature will become true.

Couldn’t I somehow be rebranded as an “adaptable creature” instead?

I was mulling that over while playing with Rudo in my room in the pillbox when someone knocked on the door.

“…Yes, come in.”

Who could it be? I wondered and called out—only to find that the narrow-eyed China-san from some other time had entered.

I’d been sitting on the floor playing with Rudo, and from that angle, the slit in my clothing was going to be awful. I’m a gentleman, though, so I stood up. Rudo leapt at me, all excited and whining to be held.

“May I take a moment of your time?”

China-san’s fake smile was the same as ever. She held a wrapped bundle in her hands.

A gun.

My decision was instant. Rudo and the Monoz were the same.

If she made even the slightest suspicious move, we’d go into full combat readiness—enough to turn someone into Swiss cheese.

“I thought you were one of the less worried types, but well, this is something else.”

That seemed to frighten her, at least a little.

The corner of her dishonest smile twitched, and for the first time, some trace of real feeling showed. I relaxed my guard a notch.

“What do you need?”

“Ah, yes. Word reached me that Ratchet-sama was looking for a Model 5 sniper rifle, so I—” she said, placing the bundle at my feet and unwrapping it.

“I’ve made arrangements,” she announced.

Inside was a familiar Model 5 sniper rifle.

“…”

“Oh? Was I being presumptuous?” she asked, perhaps suspicious because I didn’t immediately take it.

“No, I’m very grateful. It’s just—”

I slowly raised a hand.

Rudo growled; the Monoz pulled their weapons into view.

Not lightly: full combat posture. If I let my guard down, one life would end.

“Answer. That’s an order. How did you, a prisoner, come to prepare this?” I demanded.

“Goodness— I did underestimate you a bit, didn’t I?” China-san said, and raised both hands in surrender. Her narrow eyes opened slightly. Even in this situation, those eyes carried a note of delight.